5 Challenges Of Being An INTJ (+ How To Rock Them)
Introduction
Hello and welcome back to another INTJ University video! Today, we are taking a closer look at the 5 challenges INTJs are likely to struggle with and what you can do today to improve upon those struggles and maybe even make them a thing of the past.
But – before we dive into it, please make sure to like this video and subscribe to our channel for more INTJ content!
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Okay, if you are ready, let’s start off the list with…
Challenge #1: Perfectionism
INTJs usually have a strong desire for excellence in everything they do. This drive for excellence usually enables you to achieve extraordinary results but it can also be a source of frustration and stress.
As an INTJ, you may feel the need to plan for the future and see the whole picture before making a decision. Obsessing over every tiny detail and wanting things to be ‘perfect’ can leave you at a disadvantage when things do not go according to plan.
Perfectionism can lead to procrastination, as you may fear that you won’t meet your unachievable standards. It can also result in burnout, as you push yourself in pursuit of perfection.
To address this struggle, you should practice setting achievable goals and realize that the concept of perfection is an ideal that is unattainable. To ensure that you do your best, you can break up your goals into smaller chunks, spaced over time, to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Track you progress on a weekly, monthly or quarterly basis (depending on what works for you) to clearly visualize where you are and where you are going.
Learning that life’s greatest joys come from its unpredictability will enable you to be happy and embrace every situation that comes your way. Change and new experiences cultivate adaptability and allows you to foster resilience to navigate challenges with grace.
You can also try meditation. Meditation will help you calm your raging feelings and allow you to appreciate the now instead of constantly worrying about the future. Meditation will also help you practice mindfulness, which will enable you to notice when your emotions are getting out of control. Knowing when you start to spiral will allow you to take measure to deal with the stress before it completely consumes you.
Challenge #2: Emotional Expression and Connection
Although the INTJ personality type takes pride in their logical thinking and problem-solving abilities, they may struggle when it comes to expressing their own emotions, as well as connecting emotionally to others. They often come off as being cold or robotic. One notable example of this is Mark Zuckerberg who is an INTJ famously known for his stoic demeanor.
Mark Zuckerberg is blunt in his responses and often makes no attempt at adding humor or being personable in his conversations. He speaks in a very concise, matter-of-fact manner, which can feel unsettling to some people.
When dealing with a problem someone else is having, as an INTJ, you may feel more comfortable analyzing the situation and offering solutions instead of just letting someone vent, which might be all they need. Gravitating towards looking at things analytically may make you seem cold or uninterested in what others feel.
When someone is going through a tough emotional time, they may want to talk about it without having to listen to advice or solutions. This is because often times, they already know what to do and just want to let off emotional steam.
As an INTJ, you might also struggle with dealing with rejection, since it might feel like a logical failure that disrupts your life and causes emotional vulnerability. Rejection may make you retreat into yourself and fear social interactions.
To help solve these struggles, try viewing them as personal growth opportunities. Your affinity towards problem-solving will drive your desire for self-improvement and make the growth process a fun little challenge.
To connect with others going through emotional turmoil, listen without interrupting. Acknowledging someone else’s emotions with statements like. “I’m sorry to hear that happened to you,” or “I am here for you,’ allows them to feel heard, understood and comforted. Avoid offering solutions on an issue unless the person going through it asks you for advice.
Also consider having open and honest conversations with those you trust and care about. Allowing yourself to be vulnerable can help propel your relationships forward. It doesn’t have to be anything dramatic or uncomfortable. It can start with little things like asking people about their day and slowly progress to you opening up about fears or even past traumas.
If you are an INTJ who struggle to express yourself in the heat of the moment, you can take some time to think about what you feel in isolation. Taking a short breather to collect your thoughts will ensure that you communicate your feelings adequately, while still staying true to your problem-solving personality.
Regularly journaling can be helpful in identifying and understanding your feelings. It allows you to explore your inner workings and figure out the best way to show up emotionally for the people you care about.
Challenge #3: Delegating and Trusting Others
INTJs are known for being highly independent and self-reliant individuals who often prefer to take on tasks themselves rather than rely on others. This trait enables them to feel a sense of competence in their abilities which can make them struggle with delegating tasks to others.
In professional settings, you may worry that people will do a shoddy job, or just not do it as well as you could. You may tend to micromanage, which can lead to friction between you and your co-workers who may feel undermined.
In most settings, this may come off as arrogant or even self-righteous.
In relationships, this may show up as you dictating what your partner does or constantly butting heads with them when they do something you don’t approve of. Constantly looking over your partners shoulder to make sure that they are doing things ‘right’ may foster mistrust or even hate in the relationship.
To address this, INTJs can learn to let go of control. Understanding that others have a lot that they bring to the table and that there is more than one way to handle a task will allow you to take a step back and let others thrive. This way, it will be easier to monitor progress rather than micromanaging.
In your relationships, use your personality to add on to your partner instead of take away from them. When they are doing tasks, try not to comment or offer your suggestions when they haven’t asked for help. Letting your partner do things their way will foster trust and understanding in your relationship.
Challenge #4: Flexibility and Adaptability
INTJs are famous for their love of structure, planning, and organization. They thrive when they can follow a rigorous schedule and may become frustrated when unexpected changes occur. They prefer predictability and stability, which can make them rigid, and change could often lead to stress and discomfort.
As an INTJ, things such as having a new manager or even starting a new relationship could feel life-altering. Being around them could elicit feelings of anxiety and you might find yourself constantly getting worked up by things they do. Your rigidity might make even the smallest change in environment and routine feel monumental.
This can also make you suffer from some mental health struggles such as stress and depression, which could be detrimental to the quality of your life.
To alleviate this problem or at the least make it bearable, you can practice cultivating adaptability in small steady steps. You can start by consciously putting yourself in new situations such as starting a new hobby. This can make you feel as if you’re in control, while exploring unchartered territory.
Developing strategies for managing stress, depression and anxiety during times of change can also be helpful. This could be talking to friends or even a therapist about your difficulties with change. Opening up can provide comfort and offer valuable perspectives.
Challenge #5: Social Interaction and Small Talk
INTJs are introverts by nature and tend to prefer solitary activities or deep, meaningful conversations over superficial small talk. While their analytical minds thrive in discussions about ideas and concepts, they often find social gatherings and casual chitchat draining. You may end up losing out especially in professional settings where you need to talk to your co-workers or socialize during networking events. Standing off on your own while others interact may come off as rude or unsociable whilst in reality, you just crave a deeper connection. This may also lead to you being excluded from activities in your friendship circles since people assume you might not enjoy yourself at their events. This may lead to isolation and feelings of loneliness.
To cope with this challenge, INTJs can learn small talk techniques to make initial interactions smoother. Some techniques you can adopt include practicing active listening. Paying close attention to the person you are having a conversation with and maintaining eye contact will signal that they have your undivided attention. Incorporating appropriate personal experiences that connect to the topic of conversation will make you appear more relatable. People are more likely to open up when they feel they have something in common with you. Try to avoid controversial topics in small talk. Conversations involving politics or religion can be a point of friction, since people tend to have different viewpoints. Do not be the one to bring up these topics and only give your opinion if it feels appropriate to the setting. Other tactics you can try include reading books on small talk, listening to podcasts or even hiring a coach to help you navigate the art of small talk. Also, understanding that not all social interactions need to be deep and meaningful will make interacting easier. Sometimes, surface-level conversations may be the stepping stone you need to make more connections and feel more comfortable opening up.
So, there you have it! We hope this video inspires you to embrace your individuality, appreciate your INTJ identity, and use your unique strengths to achieve success in all areas of your life.
And now it's your turn: Let us know in the comments below which struggles you face as an INTJ personality. If you want to learn more about yourself and take your life to the next level, check out our website at INTJ dot University. Create your free account today and get access to 2 INTJ books written by us as well as our community of thousands of members. You can find the link in the description below.
Thanks for watching today’s video and see you soon! Bye!