I still remember the first time I came to understand the concept of thinking in systems. It was literally the birth of consciousness in my young mind. I was seven years old, sitting in my room surrounded by Legos, when it struck me like a lightning bolt — each piece was designed with a structural logic, each served a function, and when combined correctly, these pieces produced a working whole. From that moment, I started shaping my life like an algorithm I had to optimize.
During my school years I wasn't interested in popularity, conversations were often laborious and frustrating, filled with unnecessary emotional baggage in my eyes. While my classmates chatted about their weekends, I lost myself in theories about space-time or the political shifts likely to occur in the next decade.
However, this mental solace could not disguise the irksomeness I felt towards the education system, a structure seemingly built to squash independent thinking. It wasn't that I disliked learning, but I found the pace of traditional classrooms in efficacious. Why memorize dates when you can understand trends? Why learn formulas without comprehending their foundational principles? I started to follow my own curriculum, supplementing the course material with more complex books and online lectures. This led to a number of disagreements with my teachers, yet ironically, it was these confrontations that earned their respect. They realized I wasn't trying to undermine them; I was trying to attain a higher standard of knowledge, one that the system didn't cater to.
College was a different experience, however. It was like transitioning from a pond to an ocean. Finally, the intellectual stimulation I had been yearning for was not only abundant but also expected. Gone were the days when I had to argue for a more challenging curriculum; here, it was simply the norm. Classes were always about complex systems, whether it was the biochemical pathways in cellular metabolism or the intricacies of computer algorithms. I had finally found home.
As an INTJ, I've often been called aloof or robotic. To some, life is a stream of emotional experiences, but for me, it's a network of causal relationships, a system to be understood and optimized. Every decision, every relationship, every moment is part of this grand equation - and I wouldn't have it any other way.