Introduction

Accustom yourself to the community by letting us know about yourself.
alexander
Posts: 10
Joined: January 12th, 2019, 11:03 pm

Introduction

Post by alexander » January 15th, 2019, 9:21 am

My name is Alexander and I guess my personality can be regarded as the INTJ-type. I have troubles expressing my feelings, so I apologize in advance if this introduction might appear bleak.

I stumbled opon this website by looking for ways to describe my type of personality and my goal for now would primarily be to become more comfortable in social interactions. My experiences so far, tell me that I still have a long way to go until I can achieve that, but, since I came here, I expect some progress in the near future.

Looking forward to working with you.
Hartmund
Site Admin
Posts: 24
Joined: January 3rd, 2019, 11:24 pm
Location: Germany

Re: Introduction

Post by Hartmund » January 15th, 2019, 10:47 am

Hey Alexander, thanks for the introduction and welcome to the forum!

Don't worry about having trouble expressing your feelings or your more personal side. Your intuition was correct that learning this is going to be a major topic here. Everybody starts from somewhere, the motivation coupled with a few basic techniques is enough to see it unfold over time.

Hope you have a great time in this community, I'm happy that you are here. :)

-Hartmund
LoneAlpha14
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Joined: March 25th, 2018, 12:17 pm

Re: Introduction

Post by LoneAlpha14 » January 15th, 2019, 11:57 am

Hi Alexander, welcome and thanks for sharing a bit about yourself! I hope this community would serve you well when it comes to improving your social communication skills - feel free to ask and interact! I think we can all benefit from extra communication! :)
GMSI7D
Posts: 43
Joined: June 11th, 2017, 10:56 am
Location: France

Re: Introduction

Post by GMSI7D » January 15th, 2019, 12:16 pm

hi

yes we have to think about social interactions. but we need to know why in the first place.

this is not for doing absurd things like other people and insulting intelligence ( alcoohol, parties, etc ) but to improve our lives



.
alexander
Posts: 10
Joined: January 12th, 2019, 11:03 pm

Re: Introduction

Post by alexander » January 15th, 2019, 4:09 pm

Thank you for the warm welcome.
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PowerMechGuy
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Joined: October 18th, 2018, 2:41 am
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Re: Introduction

Post by PowerMechGuy » January 15th, 2019, 4:26 pm

Hi and welcome. I'm not sure I'm having the same difficulties you may be having, but I too have been having trouble expressing my emotions. I'm still reading various artcles and books to try to fix it. Does disscociation fit your situation by any chance?
God speaks through all creation.
alexander
Posts: 10
Joined: January 12th, 2019, 11:03 pm

Re: Introduction

Post by alexander » January 15th, 2019, 5:08 pm

GMSI7D, I was not really referring to the act of thinking about what I want to achieve but rather doing it for the act of doing it which will naturally bring forth improvement if done the right way. An example for this case would be when people dance. The point is neither the beginning nor the end of the dance but rather to dance.

Also, I don't think of "absurd" things as good or bad in any way because for me it seems that it is interconnected to its opposite even if people want it or not. I think of them as they are so I don't really understand what you meant by "improving our lives". It's just that I think for there to be the absurd there has to be the logical and, while holding that thought, I would say it's important to appreciate both. To add further to this topic I'll take the principle of "enantiodromia" which was introduced by Carl Jung: "The attainment of any extreme position is the point where it begins to turn into its own opposite - a process that can be dreary and repetitious without the realization that opposite extremes are polar, and that poles need each other. I only mention that because investigation often requires a lot of effort and time, and since I, unconsciously, always seem to desire doing something without expending more than I have to, I came to the conclusion that appreciation will only follow once I stop investigating all the time(asking "why?" when it is not really needed).
That is my viewpoint, maybe I have not understood you fully, in which case, I would really like you to clarify it for me.

PowerMechGuy, my situation is that I - even though I am (most of the time)aware of my feelings and emotions - lack the sense of expressing them. For instance, when I try to talk to people or a group I can assume what I would need to say to make them "like me" and accept me as a part of their group or a friend. But then again I don't want to force things and achieve it by manipulation. That is why I always seem to get stuck at that point because of the thoughts that arise. And regarding the main point for me, social interactions, it's just that I seem to mess up every opportunity to say something which might lead to a better relationship with an individual. With that being said, I doubt "dissociation" fits my situation.
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PowerMechGuy
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Re: Introduction

Post by PowerMechGuy » January 15th, 2019, 5:54 pm

Ahh alright, thanks for explaining.
God speaks through all creation.
LoneAlpha14
Posts: 24
Joined: March 25th, 2018, 12:17 pm

Re: Introduction

Post by LoneAlpha14 » January 15th, 2019, 7:47 pm

Alexander, I think you get into some too-conscious observation as if you were not yourself, but someone standing beside you, looking at you interacting with others, so you are fully aware of the uber-realistic situation you're in. Like when you're crying, and you can see yourself from aside, aware of yourself crying, so it becomes stupid and pointless. Am I right? I also feel that.

Btw, dancing shouldn't be regarded as absurd. It's for fun, it's for physical activity, it's for exhausting ourselves [for a better sleep] through an act of freedom paired with excellent music and, preferably, a very good friend or partner. It's for a good laugh, an outburst of emotion and silly expression and relief!

"I, unconsciously, always seem to desire doing something without expending more than I have to, I came to the conclusion that appreciation will only follow once I stop investigating all the time(asking "why?" when it is not really needed)" -> I can relate to this as I want to know and explore everything, but I see myself switching onto more new things after I've spent a while learning about the first one. I guess it's curiosity and desire for incessant influx of knowledge and even wisdom? Appreciation is there, certainly, but probably in a moderate amount, as we cannot be amazed so easily, knowing that things are rather trivial and not always as magnificent as they might seem in the beginning.
alexander
Posts: 10
Joined: January 12th, 2019, 11:03 pm

Re: Introduction

Post by alexander » January 15th, 2019, 8:57 pm

LoneAlpha14, I apologize if it seemed like I was referring to dancing as something absurd. That was not my intention at all. I merely used the act of dancing as an example of doing something just for the purpose of doing it instead of spending too much time thinking about doing it. Surely there are many things which have to be thought through and carefully planned to work but - in my case - I find myself in need of proper practical experience. Ofcourse to this conclusion I also came from countless observations of my environment and thoughts aswell as analyzes of the situations I have been in.

As to what you wrote, I think that you have a lot of insight in human psychology and patterns and commend you on that. Most of what you said is very accurate. Though there are some things which are slightly different(naturally).
LoneAlpha14 wrote: January 15th, 2019, 7:47 pm Like when you're crying, and you can see yourself from aside, aware of yourself crying, so it becomes stupid and pointless.
I do not know if it is stupid and pointless...in a general sense. If it is about emotions, especially crying, then maybe, but I think it is necessary to be able to accept the feelings and emotions. For instance, hate and love. If I hate someone, it does not mean that I need to make them hate me too or that I need to act upon my hate and do bad things to that person or let it out on the environment. I consider feelings to be, in a way, like seasons, they come and go; sometimes stronger, sometimes weaker.
LoneAlpha14 wrote: January 15th, 2019, 7:47 pm I can relate to this as I want to know and explore everything, but I see myself switching onto more new things after I've spent a while learning about the first one. I guess it's curiosity and desire for incessant influx of knowledge and even wisdom? Appreciation is there, certainly, but probably in a moderate amount, as we cannot be amazed so easily, knowing that things are rather trivial and not always as magnificent as they might seem in the beginning.
I think that there is nothing wrong with picking up on an interest and then letting go of it when it becomes boring. I would even consider it perfectly normal. After letting go for a while, it will probably come back to you some day, maybe even in a more interesting way than before. Kind of like when you are breathing. If you try to hold onto it for too long it will put you in a difficult position, but if you let go, it will come back and I guess the quote "variety is the spice of life" also fits perfectly in here. Also, doing something which is a bore won't really be fun, which might have a great impact on what you want to gain.

On the most fundamental level, things really are trivial, but what people tend to forget is that, despite it being so simple, things miraculously fit together in such a harmonious way and when combined, can accomplish so many beautiful things(think about our organs, the climate and the earth, or let's go even deeper and mention atoms and what makes them arrange in the way they are arranged? etc.) that I cannot think of everything being anything but magnificent.
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