LoneAlpha14 wrote: ↑February 3rd, 2019, 7:56 am Welcome to the community! We have similar usernames!
I think we should be more positive overall. I was quite down due to many of the things you've mentioned, but once you realize a number of things, everything becomes better. Yes, I doubt, wonder, and question all the time. Yet, it is by acting that our fears and everything that's torturing us begins to fade away as we learn to exist despite our being so aware and observant. The solution isn't to feel depressed or act as a pessimist would, but to remain strong and persistent - as you go, you discover, and things unfold.
I agree this society is a pure and ridiculous mess of fads and personal gains and whatnots. On the other hand, everything lies within ourselves. It's how you choose to behave and feel that will reflect you in the society. You don't need to fit in, but running away isn't a solution either. (Not saying you are, I'm writing in general.)
We all have a mission. It might be as revolutionary as an invention, or as simple as baking cakes for people we love to make them happy. Yet, our personality isn't really satisfied with pure existence, but if you keep seeking and asking without doing anything, you will remain in the same place, which will pull you even further down.
If you want to make the rest of your life better, tell me, what is that makes you feel alive? (Do note that I haven't read the previous messages because I didn't want my writing to be influenced unconsciously by something I would have read.)
I don't want to be "positive" or "negative". These are only idealizations that ignore the nature of reality, so I'd rather be realist.
"Acting" did nothing for me in the last 5 years. I went by "automatic pilot" until I was 22 and, since them, I've been trying to "act", but this just doesn't work at all. I'm not going anywhere. When you don't know where you want to go, all the paths are the wrong one.
I don't believe in the concept of "mission". I'm not satisfied with pure existence, but I've been unable to go beyond that.
Nothing makes me feel "alive". I never felt like that.